Whether you are facing stress at work that is forcing you to over talk or is this hereditary, this article will let you explore about the causes of oversharing and how to deal with it. You will get to know some practical skills to replace this behavior and learn how to stop over sharing.
Oversharing is not healthy. Stop telling people more than they need to know.
Why is Oversharing Not Good?
If you are sharing every little detail with friends, colleagues or even with family members can make them feel uncomfortable and to stay away from you.
Master how to be mysterious. People always like to explore about others. Trust me, if you are staying silent and not opening much, everyone around you will try to uncover you by talking, be friend and try to make a judgement.
Being a less spoken person will always protect you from regret. Once you’ve fired your words, you are not able to take it back.
Because people can’t unhear what they just listened and it might not be there cup of tea and can make you regretful.
Being outspoken can make people question about your self-esteem and boundaries and skew a bad impression in first place.
Remember – First Impression is the Last Impression
Ultimately, opening too much doesn’t actually promote healthy relationships between anyone be it in husband-wife relationship, colleagues, anyone you are dating, relationship with your manager and so forth.
It usually makes other people feel awkward. They’ve to forcefully listen to you and resonate what you are sharing.
If you are a social media fanatic, oversharing can be a mess and could seriously damage your reputation. A single image, quote, comment posted online will haunt you years later and can be a pain.
What Causes Oversharing?
You would’ve possibly met a lot of people in your life who are prone to sharing more and more. There could be several reasons as to why people do this but let’s discuss some common ones.
Having Anxiety
Anxiety is not a disease but a mental disorder and becomes the most common reason for people to overshare. Anxiety can trigger hormonal disbalance that triggers you to connect with people immediately and talk.
That sudden desire to connect lets you uncover everything even if it is not necessary.
However, when your nervous system calms down, you feel embarrassed and try to rectify your mistake by apologizing or by acute disconnection.
That makes the situation even more awkward and can be frustrating for you.
Having poor boundaries
Boundaries are limits within a relationship. At times, these are explicit.
You don’t realize that there is a certain decorum that you should follow within any relationship.
But when you don’t consider those limits you become a waterfall to everyone. Or should I say a newspaper with every information on it.
You’re not realizing that you are talking to much and it is really not giving a good impression to others.
Weak Non-Verbal Communication
Non-verbal communication refers to your six sense. Like you need to observe before you talk. Often times you don’t judge, realize the surroundings and start talking out of nowhere or cutting others again and again.
Nonverbal communication means sensing through eyes, posture, and intention of speech.
Having a family history of oversharing
If you have grown up seeing your parents or siblings talking too much you are likely to do the same. When you have been seeing this for all your childhood then you have to work a lot on yourself to posse’s self-control techniques.
Wanting to get close to someone
Oversharing is sometimes a natural behavior but most of the time it’s a deliberate attempt.
Like if you want to get close to someone, gain their sympathy or want their attention. Or it could be that your story will make them close to you or they can resonate if something same has happened to them.
But closeness doesn’t work when you are in rush, it requires patience, trust and self-control to get close to someone.
Struggling with ADHD
ADHD – Attention Deficit Hypersensitivity Disorder is something that we don’t really think of. But often this is the main symptom of talking too much.
One always wants other attention and to seek it you might not realize you are talking too much.
To overcome ADHD, you need to study it along with making a doctor’s appointment. The only way to overcome is to practice and mediate more and more.
Being under the influence
It’s obvious if you are taking any kind of drugs you are under influence of these substances. You may overshare so many things not knowing that what you are doing.
These things can alter your thoughts and force you to think their way. Also these elements can lower your thinking power. They can reduce your confidence on yourself and thus enforcing you to overshare.
Being a social media fanatic
Social media works like a fire. You just have to lit and it spreads like fire in the forest. If you follow people, celebrities who like to share so many things out of their personal life you might find it interesting yourself sharing your details too.
So, subconsciously you have confirmed yourself that what you are doing is right.
How figure out if you have an oversharing personality?
There is a very fine difference between opening up and oversharing. Opening up to others is when deemed necessary. However, oversharing is like talking too much to every other person.
Below we have summarized few important points that can help you identify if you posses an oversharing personality.
Desire to get close to anyone quickly
when we talk about healthy relationships, it takes time to build up. Over time, when both people like each other’s company and find themselves comfortable, they disclose more and more about themselves naturally, and its fine.
Intimidation requires authentication and empathy which can only be developed by time and when the likelihood is there. People with oversharing personalities unnecessarily want to speed up the process.
They may reveal unwanted information about themselves too quickly. Trust me, this is not going to work ever. The other party founds you desperate and feels there is nothing exciting about you and left.
If you unaware about this trait in you. Ask yourself the questions listed below.
- Do you easily like other people.
- You hate small talks.
- You are likely to open up too quickly.
- You ask to many questions to others.
- You feel desperate yourself.
- People avoid making eye contact to you while they are around you.
Don’t worry, answering a yes to all or anyone does not necessarily mean that you overshare. It could also be a result of poor social skills and anxiety.
Stress from the past
Stress is one of the most common cause of oversharing. Because your body is releasing hormones that you are unable to handle and they are stressing you out.
You may want to release that tension and thus start sharing things unwantedly.
Relax, you can do that but the people you know and not with someone you don’t know well.
You’re always seeking sympathies
Most of the time you overshare because you simply want other people to sympathize with you and you can then grab their attention.
But trust me on this one again, its not worth it. Nobody has any concern with what is going in your personal life. All they want to see you picture perfect.
Identify yourself if you seek someone else’s sympathy?
- Do you ever tell someone something shameful because you want to feel comforted?
- Do you use social media to public your relationship fights?
- Do you talk about negative events to strangers often?
You regret after opening up
This could be a revealing and most obvious sign that you regret after oversharing. Because, you just realized that you have overshared something to someone really out of context.
Meaningful information of your life with the wrong person who does not have to do anything with it and just listen does not worth sharing.
Using social media for any good or bad
We all use social media every time, anytime, and there is nothing bad about it. Those platforms can provide you with excellent opportunities to connect with your loved ones.
But turning towards it quite often, or sharing your selfies every now and then or posting your feelings, thoughts and suggestions shows your weak mental health and it could be a sign of oversharing.
Below are some of the most common traits that you turn to social media often;
- You post photos and videos that might embarrass other people.
- You ‘check-in’ to a location almost every time you go.
- You share very personal details about your relationship.
- You keep a document of almost everything you do.
The best and worst parts of my life don’t make it to the internet. I didn’t mention about casual happenings
People not connecting with you
If people in your surroundings are refraining from you or avoiding a social talk then its high time you look for yourself that are you really oversharing that is making them uncomfortable.
How to stop oversharing and talking to much
To stop oversharing things with others is pretty simple but requires a lot of practice and self-control techniques.
Just remember, awareness is the first step to change. When you have figured out that you posses an oversharing personality then its time to change.
Below we have mentioned some important points to help you overcome oversharing.
Think more about why you overshare
We’ve shared some of the common reasons above that why people overshare. Let us know in the comment section which ones resonated with you?
Avoid taboo topics
“How do I know what’s appropriate to talk about?”
Living in a society tends to make us talk more about social and personal issues. You are allowed to so but with some boundaries. Following are some of the topics that you should mind while talking about them to anybody near you.
- Religion
- Medical or mental health
- Politics
- Sex
- Personal details about coworkers
- Money
These topics are sensitive and bit personal to talk about and leave someone uncomfortable while taking. Discuss these with really good friends who enjoy your company or keep you mouth close to avoid any controversy.
Practice Listening, listening and more listening
Active listening will help you understand other’s point of view and allow them to complete before you start.
It is considered as normal etiquette while you are indulge talking. This will also connect you with anyone when you listen actively and involve them in you more and more because you give them space to open up completely without interrupting.
Even if you think you’re a good listener, it’s always a skill worth improving. Active listeners are less likely to overshare because they know how to pay attention to what others are talking.
Active listening includes many features like:
- Avoiding distractions when someone else talks.
- Avoid cutting them often.
- Withholding judgment.
Have a designated sharing place
Often you are full with so many emotions and stress that you yourself want to unwind. And that’s ok. There is nothing wrong with it.
But have a designated place, and people to share all of the things that others understand or at least listen without being judgmental.
Write down your thoughts
The next time you feel aggressive and want to shout, just take a pen and paper and start writing down your thoughts. Write more and more about the things you feel aggravated.
This is a very simple yet effective technique to unload your thoughts on a paper without saying anything to anyone.
Avoid social media
If you want to use social media to announce or put something to it. Do it when you are not extremely prone towards any issue.
how to stop oversharing at work
talking to much about others on their back gives a very bad impression. If you are talking about others to your friend he might think that he will do the same for me with other. So, you really need to stop this practice.
You should mind your own business and don’t pass judgements to others. That can also create a negative impact on you reputation and one might report this thing to your senior leaving you with no option but to apologize and get embarrass.
how to stop oversharing with friend
Oversharing is sometimes natural but often its due to some issue that you are facing. Might be due to stress, family history, anxiety or other things. In this case you need to practice self-control techniques and seek medical expert advice.
Practice more minding your own business
This is very important skill to learn and practice. This could potentially save you being fallen in any controversy or making other feel uncomfortable.
You shouldn’t be obsessed with your past and taking tensions for your future. The more you live in present the more you are attentive and feel calm and relax and in this way you can stop oversharing.
Don’t keep giving your time
If someone keeps oversharing information, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, stop giving them your time and attention.
Give yourself some space
Oversharing is natural when done infrequently. But it is a serious mess if done frequently. So, you need to figure out the possible causes and issues that you are facing and causing you to share more and more.
There could be social, mental and medical issues that are enforcing you overshare.
Relax, breathe and live in the present. Pay more attention to short-term goals and tasks. Try mindfulness techniques to overcome oversharing.
Keep a safe and healthy distance from people around you so to make them feel that you are important and shouldn’t be taken for granted.
